Big Dunc - From Barlinnie hell to Goodison heaven

As the sunshine beats done the model successful a workplace by the River Clyde, Duncan Ferguson is talking astir the acheronian successful his aboriginal life.

Barlinnie Prison, wherever helium spent 44 days and nights, is six miles distant and 30 years successful the distance, but close now, arsenic helium discusses the opening chapters of his autobiography, he's backmost there.

The sights and sounds and smells - they don't spell away. They stay. Forever, you sense.

Ferguson's beingness communicative - the precocious published Big Dunc - couldn't statesman anyplace else. Rangers vs Raith Rovers, Ibrox, 1994. John McStay, a 'headbutt' portion connected probation for immoderate fracas astatine a taxi fertile and past a jailhouse condemnation successful its wake. "Hell," arsenic helium calls it.

Tom English: You were 23 erstwhile you went inside. Reading what you witnessed, I cannot judge that they sent you to a spot similar that.

Duncan Ferguson: I'd locked it distant until I started to bash the book. It each comes flooding back. I couldn't bash that clip now. I don't deliberation I could cope.

Back then, it was frightening. Sometimes you look backmost and you think, however did you get done it? How did you really get done that? Because you're connected your own. There's cipher backing you up, there's cipher helping you.

TE: You accidental determination was besides a spot of excitement involved.

DF: I was upset. I was worried. I was frightened. Of people I was. But I was besides a wee spot excited to spot what the nick was like. Because I was young and stupid.

You've seen the movies, haven't you? You've seen movies of prisons and you think, what's it similar to beryllium successful there? So determination was a wee spot of that, possibly not excitement, but surely I was intrigued to what was really going to hap successful there.

TE: How agelong did that last?

DF: Not long. Because I realised it was hell.

TE: You picture your archetypal nighttime wrong - the lights spell retired and the voices successful the dark.

DF: Sitting astatine the extremity of that bed. Everything echoed. They're screaming astatine you. 'You're going to get chopped successful the morning'. That's what happened. They pinpoint wherever you are.

It was similar they were focusing connected me. You're disquieted sick. You've got to look that successful the morning. I ne'er slept a wink each night. I was terrified. I'm going to locomotion retired connected this landing successful the greeting and you deliberation someone's going to instrumentality a weapon successful you.

TE: You ended up moving successful the kitchen?

DF: The infirmary wing. You've got designated jobs. The archetypal fewer days, I'd slop retired connected the wing.

There was a artifact successful the mediate of the situation and determination were astir 12 cells successful determination for inmates who were getting chopped oregon slashed oregon harming themselves. The paedophiles and that. Some of them get kept successful there.

It wasn't excessively bad, due to the fact that you're distant from the main colonisation during the day.

TE: And successful determination you were asked to spell and counsel a young boy.

DF: I can't retrieve his name, but helium tried to instrumentality his ain life. He'd travel implicit to the infirmary wing. The guards had recovered retired that he'd played for the Rangers arsenic a kid. They asked maine to spell and talk to him.

TE: You were lone a kid yourself.

DF: You deliberation you're a man, don't you? I thought I was a man. I've got everything boxed-off. I was conscionable a baby.

I had to spell and talk to the lad and helium was successful a atrocious way. He told maine a wee spot of his story. He was a bully shot subordinate and it ne'er rather happened for him. He got released. He ended up connected drugs.

I anticipation he's doing good now. I inactive deliberation astir the lad sometimes.

As Ferguson recounts his spats successful his aboriginal life, each the warring and the endless grief, you inquire him what helium would accidental to his teenage aforesaid if helium could beryllium him down present and speech to him.

DF: Don't drink. That would beryllium the archetypal happening I'd accidental to myself. A batch of occupation successful my beingness has been done booze. We were young. We'd travel disconnected the estates. Everybody drunk. If I wasn't drunk erstwhile these incidents happened, I mightiness person walked away.

TE: Your upbringing. You picture yourself arsenic a stupid, daft laddie. But past you besides say, I spot myself arsenic shy. Nobody truly knows me. You look astatine the pages and stories you archer successful your book, it doesn't look similar the beingness of a shy young man.

DF: To this day, I person nary friends. Good friends. I was a loner. At school, I was connected my ain with my ball. I took my shot to school. I ne'er mixed. I walked my dog. I had my ferrets. I wasn't a mixer. I ne'er mixed with my team-mates. I had immoderate friends, but not a lot. I was a spot shy. I'm coming retired of my ammunition a wee spot now.

TE: You're shy, but you were fond of a nighttime out. Again, it goes backmost to the drinking. These fights astatine taxi ranks. This abusive feline who's connected the crutches.

DF: I can't retrieve him connected a crutch. He swung astatine maine a wee bit. I was daft. I was drunk. You're chasing girls. I was 16 oregon 17. Stirling's a tiny place. I became a target. I was Duncan Ferguson, the shot player. Look astatine the mode helium walks. Look astatine the mode he's drinking that beer. Look astatine the mode he's dancing. He thinks he's gallus. People were approaching me.

TE: I'll work you a punctuation from the book, aft immoderate benignant of incident. The constabulary came to spot you. "I was laid retired connected the sofa, rotten, stinking drunk, subordinate naked, speech for a pinkish chapeau that idiosyncratic had fixed maine earlier. I had lipstick on, an earring and a silk glove." Now that's a picture.

DF: I can't retrieve the constabulary coming. I was connected the couch, gone. That's right. It was 1 of those brainsick nights. I got young subordinate of the twelvemonth for Dundee United. We went into Anstruther. Not a beauteous sight. I'm definite it wasn't a beauteous show for the constabulary erstwhile they came to person a look astatine me.

TE: Your parents astatine this time, they indispensable person been disquieted sick astir you. Is determination guilt there?

DF: Absolutely. My mum and dad, I enactment them done it. That telephone rings successful the morning. Somebody knocks connected the door. I enactment my mum and dada done hell.

TE: You're a dada present and you tin enactment yourself successful their shoes.

DF: Yeah, they indispensable person been disquieted sick. The constabulary were starting to sound connected the doorway each the time. Headlines everywhere. Journalists extracurricular the location regularly. The property were a spot naughty, but I gave them plentifulness of ammunition. I indispensable person enactment my mum and dada done hell.

When Ferguson near Tannadice and joined Rangers for £4m, the determination was the measurement of his dreams.

He was a Rangers boy. He revered the manager, Walter Smith. He idolised the iconic striker, Ally McCoist.

The full happening became a nightmare. Wild living, not capable game-time, scrutiny, trouble, minders, claustrophobia. And past helium went for McStay.

Smith sat him down and told him helium had to permission Glasgow for his ain good. Sentencing was coming - Barlinnie not acold distant - but successful the meantime helium needed a caller start. He went to Everton for a three-month indebtedness that became a emotion affair.

TE: When Walter said you had to go, however did you feel?

DF: I cried my eyes retired erstwhile helium said it. I'd fto him down. He was telling maine I was coming backmost aft the indebtedness and I'm definite helium was genuine astatine the time. But I cried. I'd failed. I was drinking heavier. I was retired of control.

TE: The publication is truthful honest. It's a terrific read. You weren't astatine Everton agelong and you got done for portion driving.

DF: That's right. On my own. Middle of the metropolis centre. Saturday night. What bash you do? I went for a drink, stupidly. We've got a crippled connected the Monday against Liverpool and I'm retired connected a Saturday night. Nuts.

TE: This was Joe Royle's archetypal lucifer arsenic Everton manager?

DF: Yeah and I'm successful the constabulary station, 3am Sunday. Liverpool connected Monday. The prima striker's successful the nick.

TE: There's a bully extremity to that story.

DF: Yeah, they fto maine out.

TE: Well, yeah, but you scored?

DF: Of course. That's me, isn't it? That's me. No preparation. In the jail. Get retired and the remainder is history. I battered them. Second fractional particularly. Guilt. That's what I was moving on. Guilt.

TE: And you triumph the FA Cup? You scored 73 goals successful 273 games for Everton crossed 2 spells spanning a decade. They emotion you down there. How agelong did it instrumentality for you to realise Everton - this is the spot for me?

DF: About a week. Once I was successful that city, I wasn't coming back. I had nary minders. Nobody was targeting me. They knew me, but it wasn't the Rangers-Celtic thing, was it? There's nary sectarianism. I felt free. And I was fitter. And I was getting minutes.

TE: Why does this nine mean truthful overmuch to you?

DF: The fans took to me. There was ne'er immoderate occupation disconnected the pitch, lone the portion driving offence. They needed idiosyncratic similar maine astatine the club. The squad wasn't precise good. They had a bully contented of large Scottish fig nines. I fitted that mould.

TE: They could spot the honesty.

DF: I was aggressive. The fans liked that. They wanted idiosyncratic to get stuck successful for them. It each turned for maine then. You're playing against Liverpool, Man United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham. You're playing against immoderate superior teams. It brought the champion retired of me. I inactive emotion the city. I inactive unrecorded down there. It's a large spot to be.

TE: Striker, skipper and past manager. That indispensable person been cosmic for you?

DF: What a feeling. It was an unthinkable infinitesimal successful my beingness and my career. One that I'll ne'er forget. I'd captained the team, I'd scored a batch of goals for the nine and past to negociate them. So I've done it each there, really.

TE: You worked nether Carlo Ancelotti astatine Everton and talk glowingly astir him.

DF: I was connected my mate's vessel successful Croatia, right? And Carlo's successful the vicinity connected his ain boat. He's connected the phone. "I'm coming to spot you." "OK, nary problem, Carlo."

I gave him the coordinates and he's coming retired of the skyline successful this large boat. He paid a close fewer quid for it. I could spot him waving. As he's getting person and closer, his vessel is getting smaller. Our vessel was astir 4 times bigger than his. He spent his week connected my mate's boat. His vessel got left. It was truly funny, like. A large fella. We conscionable bonded.

It's not hard to recognize the reasons wherefore Ferguson brought a madly premature extremity to his Scotland career. Everything goes backmost to the fateful McStay incident.

The Scottish FA handed down a 12-match prohibition earlier his tribunal lawsuit ever came around. He felt they sat arsenic judge, assemblage and executioner.

When helium came retired of Barlinnie, they went aft him again, trying to unit done that suspension adjacent though helium had done clip successful situation and was present astatine Everton.

He thought it was a vindictive pursuit portion reminding you that helium went to jailhouse for the McStay confrontation and "I didn't adjacent get a yellowish card".

TE: You discontinue Scotland successful December 1994. You say, "I fell retired of emotion with Scotland. I felt bitter. I felt the Scottish property had done maine in, truthful I chucked it".

DF: I should person played. There's a monolithic regret. I should person played. I pulled retired a batch of squads. Craig Brown, God bless him, protected me. He conscionable said I was injured. I told him I didn't privation to spell and play for Scotland anymore. He said, "You're brainsick man!" My bosom wasn't successful it. I went backmost a mates of times. I didn't similar it.

TE: You went backmost for Austria 96 and Estonia 97, but that was it. Stubborn?

DF: My God. I privation I could spell back, but you can't, tin you? You're a young man. You're daft. You conscionable don't listen.

I was connected my honeymoon successful the Bahamas during the 1998 World Cup. We played Brazil, didn't we? I should person been kicking disconnected the ball. Daft. I was successful my premier past arsenic well.

They asked maine each twelvemonth for 14 years to spell back. Bertie Vogts came to Everton. I brushed by him. Didn't adjacent instrumentality him into a wee room, beryllium him down and perceive to his spiel.

There was more, of course. More connected his aboriginal years, much connected his Dundee United brag Jim McLean - who fined him truthful heavy erstwhile that Ferguson's wage packet was minus £10 - much connected Barlinnie, Rangers, Everton, Newcastle, his fiscal bankruptcy, his stints successful absorption and his tendency to person different go.

He's 53 and looking well. Is helium happy? "No, not 100% happy, no. I don't deliberation immoderate of america are wholly happy. I'm successful a bully place. You know, I've been successful a batch worse place. I've been looking down the backmost of sofas for a fewer quid, you cognize what I mean?

"So I'm not there. And I'm healthy. I'm disconnected the booze. I accidental I'm blessed arsenic the adjacent man. My imagination is to beryllium a manager astatine the top. That's what I want. And erstwhile that happens, I'll beryllium a existent blessed man."

If you are affected by the issues successful this article, assistance and enactment is disposable astatine BBC Action Line