North London is humid and Rob White is tired.
"We had ridiculous storms present past night," helium says.
"I woke up astatine 4am and it was similar idiosyncratic switching a neon airy connected and disconnected successful my room.
"Even astatine the property of 60, that takes maine somewhere."
White is alert of the cliche.
"The clap of thunder, the flash of lightning, it is astir lazy arsenic a crippled instrumentality isn't it?" helium says.
"You spot it successful movies, successful books, successful plays - it goes each the mode backmost to Greek tragedy."
But for his story, it is undeniable and unavoidable. Every bolt lands successful the aforesaid place: 21 July 1964.
Sixty years ago, a summertime tempest erupted implicit Middlesex and lightning struck a lone golfer.
John White, 27, was recovered crouched and scorched nether a tree, the rings connected his fingers fused to the shaft of the nine helium was clutching.
Tottenham and Scotland had mislaid 1 of the finest footballers of his procreation - a Double winner, with a European Cup Winners' Cup medal to his sanction - astatine the tallness of his powers.
Rob, conscionable six months aged astatine the time, had mislaid a father.
His hunt has continued ever since.
Rob has spent his beingness trying to unravel a decease and uncover its victim, listening astatine closed doors and investigating sliding doors.
The time helium knows champion successful his father's beingness is the last.
It is 1 littered with accidental encounters and alternate universes, immoderate of which would person led John retired of a lightning bolt's path.
On the fateful greeting of 21 July 1964, Tottenham's players gathered for immoderate squad photos and gentle pre-season grooming astatine White Hart Lane.
Having finished successful the apical 4 successful 7 of the erstwhile 8 seasons, they were an established power, with an onslaught centred connected Jimmy Greaves' finishing and Cliff Jones' trickery.
John White's gifts were much subtle. He had a silken archetypal touch, an astute passing crippled and an quality to suffer his marker that, combined with his flimsy framework and airy complexion, earned him the nickname 'the Ghost'.
Bill Nicholson knew John's value. Having mislaid Dave Mackay to a breached limb and skipper Danny Blanchflower to retirement, the manager had told John that his adjacent Tottenham squad would beryllium built astir him.
That was each to come, though. This wasn't the clip of twelvemonth for superior business.
After training, hardly blowing, John stripped down to his vest and pants to instrumentality connected team-mate Terry Medwin successful an indoor tennis match, alternatively than caput consecutive home.
When John returned to the dressing room, helium was confused. His trousers were missing. Ten minutes before, a smiling Jones had driven retired of White Hart Lane, waving them retired of his car model successful glee astatine a well-executed prank.
John yet recovered a brace to borrow, yet returned location and, contempt the time drafting on, said helium was going to play golf.
His young woman Sandra, juggling Rob and his two-year-old sister, suggested helium shouldn't. They argued.
Delay heaped connected delay. The entity darkened.
A compromise was found. Sandra dropped John disconnected astatine Crews Hill play course. He headed into the nine store and bought a battalion of 3 balls. As helium left, helium bumped into Tony Marchi, different Tottenham team-mate. Having asked astir for a playing spouse astatine grooming earlier successful the day, John asked for a last time. Did Tony fancy playing with him?
"As acold arsenic we know, that was the past speech my begetter had," says Rob.
"The past happening that Tony thought arsenic helium watched my dada spell retired was: 'John is going to get truly bedewed retired determination this afternoon.'"
Marchi, having played his ain circular already, opted against joining John. The last sliding doorway shut. John walked retired different and connected to the course.
"I cognize that Tony [who died successful 2022] ever wished helium could person conscionable had different paragraph of speech with my dad," says Rob. "Because if helium had, my dada wouldn't person been successful that spot astatine that time."
The landlord emerges from down a curtain, cigaret successful mouth, thinning hairsbreadth slicked back, and nonchalantly hands retired a postulation of pistols to the suited young men connected the different broadside of the bar.
Each handles them with awed reverence, spinning the barrels and staring down the sights.
At 1 point, 1 of young men, blonde and slight, takes a handkerchief retired of his pouch and blows his nose.
And each the time, an unseen Pathe newsreader chatters distant implicit the top.
It is simply a movie from 1962 – a antithetic clip erstwhile top-flight footballers would beryllium small much than extras in a quality study astir a gun-collecting publican successful northbound London., external
John White and his team-mates played their parts well, looking connected successful owed awe arsenic their big spun a weapon connected his digit and slotting it backmost into his holster.
For Rob, the footage is portion of a patchwork helium has been stitching unneurotic implicit the past 60 years.
The archetypal pieces came when, aged nine, helium sneaked up into the attic of the household location and opened up a cardboard box.
"It was similar Tutankhamun's tomb - it had scrapbooks, newspapers, programmes, boots, medals, a mates of Scotland caps, a shaving kit that smelt of Old Spice," Rob says.
"As a kid, I would sneak up into the loft and fundamentally grieve and get truly rather bittersweet looking astatine this stuff.
"It was arsenic if my Dad was 1 of those ligament mannequins that sculptors mightiness use; I knew 'the Ghost', that my dada was something, but uncovering this worldly allowed maine to enactment texture connected that outline."
Just arsenic connected the transportation though, tracking down John was not easy.
Rob's parent Sandra could retrieve driving up to the people to prime up her husband, seeing the clubhouse surrounded with constabulary cars and then, specified was the shock, small other from the adjacent 5 years of her life.
In the aftermath of John's death, the sideboard trophies, celebratory photos and immoderate hint of his beingness were tidied away. In their place, a civilization of stoicism, soundlessness and secrecy dominated. His begetter was seldom spoken astir – a taxable excessively sore for anyone to cognize however to handle.
"Most families person a communicative that arsenic a kid you don't cognize the afloat details of, but you cognize ne'er to inquire about," says Rob.
"Maybe you are told thing once, oregon a doorway is half-open and you perceive something. You can't rather portion it together, but, arsenic humans, we make our ain narrative, filling successful the gaps with accusation that may, oregon whitethorn not, beryllium right."
For Rob, determination was plentifulness of accusation to capable successful the gaps.
John's beingness was documented successful an uncommon extent for his era.
People shared hundreds of photos, thousands of memories and the unusual portion of footage.
Usually the movie was lucifer action, but occasionally it was thing rarer and, successful galore ways, much precious – an day John spent successful a pub with its eccentric landlord and a Pathe movie unit for instance.
Too often, though, the quality lacked depth: arsenic bladed arsenic the leafage of the comic helium seemed to outpouring from.
"He was this benignant of Roy of the Rovers fig and arsenic I got older I got frustrated and astir embarrassed by radical having a amended cognition of my dada than I did," Rob says.
"Part of the joyousness of having a begetter is uncovering our ain individuality - determination is simply a small blueprint determination and if we are fortunate we travel the bully bits and jettison the atrocious bits - but I didn't person that.
"There is inactive a kid successful maine that wants to cognize the elemental stuff: what helium smelt similar and sounded like, a spot much astir him, alternatively than this persona. That is the eternal frustration."
Rob channelled that vexation into a publication - The Ghost of White Hart Lane - interviewing household members, erstwhile team-mates, friends and acquaintances, to effort and observe the antheral down the myth.
And gradually helium recovered him.
Rob heard astir the sadness and homesickness that would grip John each wintertime successful London. He heard astir the clip helium drove location dangerously drunk, clipping the White Hart Lane gates successful his car. Most revealingly, an uncle told Rob astir the kid that John had fathered successful Scotland and near down earlier helium travelled south, played for Spurs and met Sandra.
"Part of maine has ever been trying to unrecorded up to this idiosyncratic who was perfectly perfect, who was idolised not conscionable by the family, but by hundreds of thousands of people," says Rob.
"To find retired helium had defects and weaknesses, that helium struggled with confidence, intelligence wellness and seasonal affective disorder, that helium had made mistakes - if I had recovered each that retired earlier, it would person made much consciousness to my life.
"If we cognize our parents are fallible, it truly makes america recognize that we tin marque mistakes. We don't person to cognize each the answers."
John's lack shaped Rob arsenic surely arsenic his beingness would have.
Rob is simply a still-life lensman - "I person ever been looking for those details and clues" - and is besides grooming arsenic a counsellor.
Later this month, Rob volition beryllium successful the assemblage astatine Tottenham Hotspur Stadium for the archetypal show of a play, called The Ghost of White Hart Lane, that helium commissioned astir his father's life.
The staging is intended to stock his father's communicative to respective generations of fans who retrieve neither John's beingness oregon death.
"It is thing I speech astir with my ain therapist," helium says. "Having seen beingness breathed into the communicative astatine the play's read-throughs, it reinforced the reasons I wanted to get progressive with the project.
"I deliberation determination is thing of trying to bring my dada backmost to life."
After 2 nights successful Tottenham, the play volition past transportation north, taking the other travel to the 1 John took successful life, for a stint astatine the Edinburgh Festival., external
There are immoderate things that stay lost. Rob is inactive searching for a signaling of John's voice. One of his match-worn Tottenham shirts remains elusive.
But implicit the decades, helium has recovered overmuch more: an knowing and an empathy for the begetter helium ne'er knew.
English (US) ·