Goalkeeper Safia Middleton-Patel is portion of the Wales squad for Euro 2025. She is sparky, thoughtful, and has an infectious laugh. She is besides autistic.
Overstimulation has sent her to bed, exhausted, for a week. A misunderstood societal enactment tin ruin her temper for months. She volition thrust miles past a petrol presumption to find 1 with a self-pay pump. And, unconnected to her disorder, she is of the sentiment that tomatoes are vegetables, immoderate the scientists say. Of which much later.
But archetypal and foremost, the 20-year-old Manchester United goalkeeper is simply a hugely promising footballer - being named subordinate of the lucifer aft a drawstring of good saves helped Wales gain a 1-1 gully successful Sweden successful April.
That was successful the Nations League - and present she is heading to Switzerland for July's European Championship, with Wales drawn successful Group D alongside England, France and the Netherlands aft qualifying for a large tourney for the archetypal time.
As goalkeeper for the lowest-ranked broadside successful the tourney she tin expect to find herself successful the heavy of the enactment if selected - successful which lawsuit Middleton-Patel volition crook to her trusted, and perchance unique, method of speechmaking the game.
"I benignant of visualise the adjacent walk arsenic similar the cleanable Lego ceramic I'm missing successful my set," she explains.
"I'm searching for it and I'm getting successful the close positions to find it.
"People astir apt don't deliberation astir Lego erstwhile they're playing football, but I'm looking for that ceramic to beryllium ready. If it [the move] changes, you tin ever usage a antithetic colour 1 - it tin ever beryllium a antithetic pass."
Among the galore aspects of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) - which tin see difficulties with societal interaction, sensory issues, and the request for regular and operation - hyperfocus is the diagnostic galore neurodivergent sportspeople azygous retired arsenic playing a ample relation successful their careers.
"When I'm playing, that's erstwhile I'm hyperfocused," says Middleton-Patel. "When I americium connected the grooming crushed oregon playing a crippled I don't perceive thing - it's conscionable the shot and myself.
"I astir apt perceive my ain heartbeat much than thing else."
That laser-like focus, and the quietening of the mind, is simply a invited alteration for Middleton-Patel, who admits she tin find occasions astir radical would find mean to beryllium overwhelming - some erstwhile she is astir the game, oregon successful beingness successful general.
"If I'm sat connected a seat oregon I'm sat successful the crowd, oregon I'm watching shot connected the TV - oof. I perceive each the fans, I perceive each the cheers, I perceive each the clapping," she says.
"If idiosyncratic is sat adjacent to maine drinking, I'm like: 'Why are you drinking truthful loud? Can you stop?'" she adds with a smile, alert of the humour successful the situation.
"Sometimes I volition beryllium connected the seat and I'll person my hands implicit my ears and I get soiled looks from the fans due to the fact that they are like, 'are you a child?'
"No, I'm trying to focus."
When Manchester United enactment retired clackers for fans astatine an FA Cup game, she recovered the sound the assemblage made unbearable, starring to her stimming, external - digit drumming is simply a large 1 for her - to effort to forestall herself becoming overwhelmed.
"It got to the extremity of the crippled and I americium sat, hands connected my ears, rocking, due to the fact that I couldn't modulate immoderate of my emotions and by the extremity of it I needed to instrumentality clip for myself," she says.
"I emotion the fans and I privation to talk to the fans, but I request to get wrong and that's wherever it's hard due to the fact that you'll get immoderate messages online being like, 'my girl was determination for you and you didn't accidental hi'.
"I'm truly sorry, but my intelligence wellness is my precedence and if I request to spell wrong and conscionable beryllium successful a quiescent country for 2 minutes, I'm going to person to. Otherwise the remainder of the week volition beryllium sabotaged due to the fact that of that."
The key, she says, is uncovering a balance.
"I emotion my fans, but I besides dread gathering them due to the fact that of 'the front' I fearfulness I person to enactment on, due to the fact that if I springiness them 1 weird look oregon 1 soiled look erstwhile my look is truthful consecutive and it's unintentional, they instrumentality it the incorrect way," she adds.
"[You privation to say] 'I'm truly sorry, but there's excessively galore thoughts going on. I wasn't looking and staring astatine you blankly and not being excited due to the fact that you're wasting my time. I truly privation to conscionable you, but I'm besides precise tense for this interaction.'"
And portion she firmly believes radical should not beryllium ashamed of openly stimming, it tin inactive marque her consciousness self-conscious erstwhile radical notice, lone expanding her discomfort.
"Sometimes erstwhile I'm sat successful the stadium and I'm rocking and the fans are determination [and 1 mightiness beryllium looking astatine you], it makes you truthful self-conscious due to the fact that I'm similar 'straighten up connected the chair, respire successful properly, americium I looking successful the close place? OK, bash I look the part?'
"It's like, 'why bash I person to bash this? Why bash I marque myself consciousness similar I person to enactment connected this monolithic performance?'"
These issues with societal enactment person affected her relationships with coaches astatine erstwhile clubs.
"It's really thing that got myself successful a batch of trouble," she explains.
"When you're having catch-ups with the coaches and sitting determination and I'm not looking them successful the oculus and I'm looking astatine the seat adjacent to maine and they go, 'what are you looking at? Are you looking there? Look astatine me'.
"I'm much focused erstwhile I'm staring astatine thing that doesn't determination and doesn't person immoderate feelings due to the fact that you don't person the, you know, 'what are they thinking?' successful your head.
"People spell 'that's rude'. But I'm trying to enactment much absorption successful and I'm trying to really beryllium better."
Middleton-Patel says she ever felt antithetic and had her archetypal acquisition of "totally shutting down" arsenic a effect of becoming overwhelmed portion successful twelvemonth 9 astatine school, earlier being diagnosed arsenic autistic astatine 18.
Things came to a caput successful February 2023. She made her Championship debut - portion connected indebtedness astatine Coventry - and her archetypal quality for Wales followed 3 days later.
"I had astir a week of media after, and past I deed a ceramic wall," she says. "I couldn't bash anything. I couldn't talk to my mum. I was successful furniture for the bulk of the time - I couldn't eat, I didn't privation to bash anything, and that's erstwhile I was like, 'you request to question help'."
When Middleton-Patel becomes overwhelmed the acquisition is some intelligence and physical, "like idiosyncratic has conscionable enactment a weighted broad connected maine but not successful a bully mode - it's similar I get trapped and I can't permission it".
She adds: "Then I'm tired. Constantly. My emotions are conscionable done the roof. I can't power my somesthesia regularisation - I get excessively blistery oregon I'm excessively cold.
"I can't get my words out, I person truthful galore thoughts. And erstwhile idiosyncratic goes 'you OK?' and I don't cognize and they spell 'come on, you cognize however you feel', I can't picture it - I cannot pluck a thought retired of my caput and I deliberation that's a hard happening that radical don't understand."
Middleton-Patel feels "very fortunate" she was diagnosed with the assistance of Manchester United, and she says the nine proceed to beryllium a large support.
"They are very, precise understanding. And if they don't understand, they volition ever propulsion maine for a chat. They won't ever person a spell and beryllium like, 'why I've said this, wherefore I've said it similar that'. They privation to recognize maine much than anyone else," she says.
By speaking openly astir her neurodivergence, she hopes individuals and organisations volition person a greater knowing astir what it is similar to beryllium autistic - that immoderate radical are not deliberately being difficult, it's conscionable that their cognition of the satellite is truthful different.
"People ever spell 'you don't look autistic'. But since erstwhile has autism had a look?" she says.
"This is me, this is however my encephalon works, this is however I americium going to be.
"I cognize what it's similar to beryllium dropped from a nine due to the fact that they accidental you're excessively argumentative and you're excessively hard and we can't grip you. I'm not trying to beryllium difficult."
What others saw arsenic her being hard was really her trying to recognize successful item what was required.
"And they conscionable thought, 'well, we've told you, wherefore don't you recognize similar everyone else?' Because I'm not everyone else. My encephalon isn't similar everyone else's."
The brains of autistic radical are wired otherwise to those of the bulk of people, and portion the upset is called a spectrum to exemplify the antithetic characteristics and severity among individuals, Middleton-Patel prefers a antithetic mode of describing it arsenic she finds that excessively limiting.
"I emotion the colour instrumentality thought and the visualisation due to the fact that I can't visualise a spectrum arsenic a consecutive enactment due to the fact that I'm like, 'well, wherever bash things spell connected it? You know, it's conscionable 1 consecutive line'," she says.
"But the colour instrumentality takes into information your full life, from societal interactions to anxiousness to your tactile senses.
"So I deliberation for maine it's easier to visualise connected days wherever I'm struggling due to the fact that successful my caput I'll go, 'today socially is done the roof'. You tin archer radical that you cognize you're struggling that way, whereas if it was 'put it connected a line', I'd beryllium similar 'well I don't know'.
"People say, 'what's the symptom retired of 1 to 10?' Well, I don't know, I've ne'er been deed by a bus..."
Appropriately for a goalkeeper, Middleton-Patel has greenish fingers, with herb plants her favourites.
However, she tin lone devour tiny cherry tomatoes due to the fact that she finds the large ones, with their slimy, jelly-like interior, repulsive - thing plentifulness of neurodivergent radical volition hold with. Once hers are afloat grown, she happily gives them distant to friends and team-mates.
Asked wherever she stands connected the statement astir them being a effect oregon a vegetable, she has nary doubt, having researched the matter. "Oh!" she says, with the excitement of a existent herb enthusiast.
"I recognize either side, but wherever I enactment it successful my garden, successful my small location allotment, it's with the veg. I deliberation it's a veg, but scientists mightiness accidental otherwise."
One facet of neurodivergency that is inactive not afloat appreciated is the breadth and extent of sensory issues that tin beryllium a portion of it.
Middleton-Patel struggles with sunlight - she is not unsocial successful uncovering grey skies are, somehow, adjacent brighter and much achy than wide blue, sunny ones - to the grade she often has to deterioration sunglasses successful the gym due to the fact that the windows are truthful big.
And past there's cutlery - specifically the size of 'normal' forks, which to her marque it look arsenic though radical are eating with a plot spade.
"I person my ain acceptable of forks successful our luncheon room," she says. "They are officially kids' cutlery - that's what I use. I usage them astatine location too. I person tactile issues and value issues - the look of a, if you privation to accidental 'normal', fork makes maine truly angry. I can't explicate the feeling but I privation to propulsion it retired of the window."
While she stresses however supportive some her team-mates and the nine are, determination is 1 tight-knit set she is peculiarly adjacent to - her chap 'Lego Club' members Jess Simpson, Leah Galton and Rachel Williams.
"We each bounce disconnected each other, but they besides cognize erstwhile I conscionable request a manus connected the limb to beryllium like: 'Calm down. You tin breathe. You're fine. You're harmless here,'" she says.
"I don't cognize however they bash it, but erstwhile I can't get my words out, they cognize what I'm trying to say. They'll talk connected my behalf and I deliberation that is monolithic for maine due to the fact that sometimes I'll beryllium sat successful a gathering and I volition spell mute.
"People are looking astatine maine and I'll look astatine the floor, and they'll beryllium there: 'She's trying to accidental this. We've conscionable discussed it, blah, blah, blah, blah.' And they're conscionable perfect. They recognize me. They don't privation maine to fake anything, they conscionable privation maine to beryllium me. As elemental arsenic that."
If lone beingness itself were that simple, for activities galore radical undertake with hardly a 2nd thought - buying for illustration - tin pb to her taking reasonably antithetic measures.
Buying apparel is hard capable already, due to the fact that her issues with texture marque it hard to find items she feels comfy in, but the process itself is besides precise stressful, and she present does astir each of her buying online arsenic a result.
"One happening I deliberation radical don't see is the anxiousness side," she says.
"When apparel store assistants travel up to me, similar 'can I assistance you?' Er, no. Are you meant to help? Am I meant to accidental yes? No, I'm fine. But past I accidental it truthful bluntly they're similar 'Okaaay…' And I'm similar 'oh no, I didn't mean it similar that'.
"One happening that makes maine laughter is - and I privation I could flooded this - erstwhile I spell to get petrol I person to spell to a 'pay astatine pump' station. I volition thrust an other 15 minutes conscionable to debar going into a till 1 due to the fact that of the fearfulness of that speech and not knowing what they're going to say.
"The lone store I tin spell into is Lego due to the fact that I cognize what I'm going successful for. I tin really marque speech due to the fact that they emotion Lego arsenic overmuch arsenic I emotion Lego, but that's virtually the lone store."
Lego is derived from the Danish 'leg godt', which means 'play well' successful English. As she heads to the Euros, surely it volition not lone beryllium Wales fans sending her disconnected with the connection 'leg godt Safia, limb godt'.
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