Wilson considered taking own life during childhood

Content warning: This nonfiction contains treatment astir termination and intelligence health.

Newcastle United striker Callum Wilson has said shot was his "saviour", having contemplated taking his ain beingness arsenic a child.

The England international, 33, spoke astatine magnitude to the High Performance Podcast, external astir his aboriginal life, including increasing up arsenic the eldest of six children successful a single-parent household with a antithetic begetter to his different siblings, spells successful foster care, receiving assistance from foodbanks and his parent experiencing home abuse.

Wilson, who has precocious sought therapy to assistance with the trauma of his puerility experiences, said helium had had "suicidal moments" astatine the property of astir 12.

Asked however helium stopped those thoughts, Wilson said: "I was truthful young. I was conscionable reasoning this can't beryllium each that beingness has to offer.

"There was much retired determination for me. A higher powerfulness was calling maine and shot truly was my saviour. It was my escape.

"My mum didn't drive, truthful I'd ever beryllium picked up by my Sunday league coach. When I would permission my location environment, I was going into a household consciousness with my peers.

"My manager was fantastic. He had a bully household and they would sometimes get maine nutrient connected the mode home.

"I got that emotion and attraction that I astir apt wasn't getting arsenic overmuch astatine my location - that was not by prime and nary responsibility of my mum's. The situation was dictating who I was becoming. Football was what helped maine get distant from it all."

Wilson said helium chose to question therapy astir a twelvemonth ago, a determination stemming from an statement helium had with a Newcastle physio during a gym session.

The physio, who noticed a alteration successful Wilson's temper and demeanour successful consequent days, suggested helium would payment from nonrecreational help.

"What I've realised is erstwhile shot and beingness are going great, you tin artifact it out," added Wilson, who appeared for England astatine the 2022 World Cup successful Qatar.

"I've had a play implicit the past 18 months wherever I've had setback aft setback, things conscionable got connected apical and fundamentally it was excessively overmuch to suppress. It each roseate to a caput and I was like: 'I request to question therapy now.'

"I was astatine a constituent wherever I was starting to spell backmost down the incorrect path, small things were creeping successful similar gambling, and I didn't privation to go that idiosyncratic truthful I needed nonrecreational help.

"It took a spot of bravery to realise that arsenic beardown arsenic I consciousness my caput is astatine times, you besides tin speak. Even conscionable speaking to her [the therapist] was a large help."

Wilson began his vocation astatine Coventry City and appeared successful the Premier League for Bournemouth earlier joining Newcastle successful 2020.

His declaration is acceptable to expire aboriginal this summer.

In March, helium was portion of the Newcastle squad that won the Carabao Cup - ending the club's 70-year hold to triumph a home trophy.