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Michael Owen has revealed his mental struggles while coping with his declining performance during the latter stages of his soccer career.
The former England striker confesses he felt "embarrassed" by how significantly his standard had deteriorated in the second half of his playing days for the likes of Newcastle and Manchester United, acknowledging it was "killing him" inside.
Owen burst onto the Premier League scene as just a 17-year-old with Liverpool, rapidly establishing himself with his explosive speed in behind defences and clinical finishing ability. He claimed the league's golden boot award in his debut full campaign before making his mark internationally with a stunning strike against Argentina at the age of 18 during the 1998 World Cup.
Following Liverpool's treble triumph in the UEFA Cup, FA Cup, and League Cup in 2001 - which earned him the coveted Ballon d'Or award - he secured his move to Spanish team Real Madrid in 2004.
Owen spent only one campaign in La Liga before his switch to Newcastle, where persistent muscle problems meant he was absent for considerable periods across the following four seasons on Tyneside. These fitness issues continued to plague him at Manchester United and subsequently Stoke, with the striker eventually choosing to retire in 2013.
The 45-year-old recently featured on the Rio Presents podcast, where former Red Devils colleague Rio Ferdinand questioned him about the transition from an elite setting to a lesser one. Owen instead examined his own career trajectory, stating he divides it into two distinct periods: before and after his injury troubles.
Owen said: "Well, I've said before, I mean, I sort of split my career into two. Almost Liverpool and maybe Madrid. And then afterwards, because I just wasn't the same. Not that I didn't like it. I loved it at United. I love you and the lads and whatever.
"But I'm not me. I'm not me. You know what I was when I was 18. And you know what I was when I was 30. It's like, I was half embarrassed. I'm coming out, they've been to these big stadiums, St. James' Park, Old Trafford, with my name on my back.
"It's like, can I not just change my name and just think of something, like call me something else? I don't want people to remember me like this. Still good, still scoring. But I'm not what I was. It's killing me. But it's like, what can you do?"
Owen netted more than 20 goals in all competitions during every season at Liverpool, bar two. Following his tally of 16 in 45 appearances at Real Madrid, those figures dropped significantly as he endured prolonged injury layoffs and lost his renowned pace.
Speaking about his stints at Newcastle, Manchester United, and Stoke, he added: "I had it for eight years, when I'm thinking, 'I don't like this.'
"I was looking at the clock half of my career, thinking only 20 minutes. And I could still score. I could still play well. I couldn't rip a team's heart out anymore. I could just finish if I get the opportunity. I'm relying on everyone else now. Whereas I used to be able to, I didn't need anyone else. Just give me the ball and I'll do it. And that change of mentality.
"I didn't retire because of my body. I still played in a game the other day. I retired because my mind was about to explode. And I couldn't have it anymore that I was just a Premier League player."
Though his displays failed to meet his own lofty standards, Owen's period at Manchester United delivered a coveted Premier League title in 2010-11, alongside another League Cup triumph.
He concluded his career with a record of 222 goals across 482 matches, plus 40 strikes in 89 England appearances.
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