'Secret Footballer' finally revealed as he admits it 'stopped being fun' after Gary Speed death

The man behind the Secret Footballer persona has finally been revealed, with the former Premier League star going into detail on why he decided to quit the pseudonym

Gary Speed passed away in 2011(Image: IAN KINGTON/AFP via Getty Images)

Following 15 years of intrigue, five published works, a compelling newspaper column and countless social media discussions attempting to unmask him, The Secret Footballer's identity has at last been disclosed.

During the peak of his fame, a dedicated website titled 'Who Is the Secret Footballer' even emerged, piecing together hints from his weekly behind-the-scenes accounts of professional football in an effort to uncover the person behind 'TSF'.

His pieces would lift the veil on the "billion-dollar circus" of elite football, exploring subjects such as agents, dressing room dynamics and the sport's underlying cynicism. Whilst numerous ex-footballers now host podcasts and contribute columns, this represented revolutionary insight at the time.

Football supporters of a particular generation will probably recognize him, but former Reading, Stoke City, Sheffield United and Portsmouth forward Dave Kitson has now publicly acknowledged his role, explaining: "I wasn't happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health," reports the Mirror.

Kitson, currently a prominent motivational speaker, has ultimately chosen to reveal the truth and has shared details about why his career shifted towards penning best-selling books and captivating articles, both during and after his playing days.

Whilst some pursue the ambition of becoming a footballer, for Kitson, the profession discovered him.

"I never set out to be a footballer. It was one of those things that just happened," Kitson admitted. "I wanted to be a travel writer. I wanted to get around the world and have someone pay me to do it. So, I fell into football."

Dave Kitson revealed that he is "The Secret Footballer"(Image: (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images))

Throughout his career, Kitson notched up 81 Premier League appearances, finding the net 15 times. Across his playing days, the 46-year-old turned out 403 times for seven separate clubs, amassing 115 goals and contributing 30 assists along the way.

Whilst many dream of a footballing career, it isn't without its drawbacks. Enter The Secret Footballer, which served as Kitson's outlet for the darker aspects of the game.

"I am The Secret Footballer. I've never said that out loud before," Kitson disclosed after keeping the secret for 15 years. "It was an idea that came to me when I wasn't happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health.

"I've been writing since I was a kid. It's a passion. As I said, I wanted to be a travel writer. The writing was cathartic. It helped me process what was going on in football."

What began as a personal release for Kitson gradually became a burden as expectations mounted and demands increased.

Kitson explained: "It started as something that wasn't about naming names. It was about explaining what happens in the industry and why.

"I would write and leave people to form their own opinions. It was fun for a while, then it bred huge anxiety. I had a career and a big contract. If I'd been outed, I would have been sacked and ostracised. Now everyone has a podcast and an outlet. Back then, it was genuinely new.

"It changed football in this country and led to overhauls at the highest levels, which I'm proud of. But the stress and anxiety were immense."

Kitson didn't just air his grievances about the "circus" that is football. He made a point of highlighting mental health issues, though he now regrets not speaking up sooner.

Kitson confessed: "The worst thing that happened was when I wrote a column about mental health called Sometimes There's Darkness Behind the Light.

Kitson retired from playing in 2015(Image: Chris Brunskill/Fantasista/Getty Images)

"Nobody talked about mental health in football then. If you spoke about it, you were seen as weak. I said there was a mental health epidemic and I predicted it was only a matter of time before someone took their own life.

"I submitted it on Friday. It went out Saturday. On Sunday, Gary Speed was found dead. That's when the Secret Footballer stopped being fun.

"It gave the column credibility in the worst possible way. I struggled with guilt for a long time that I hadn't written it earlier. I became angry at the authorities for being passive.

"Things have improved since, but that tragedy was horrendous. Not long after, I stopped writing and disappeared."

TSF's literary contributions over the years have resonated with football fans nationwide, making Kitson's final remark a surprising one for many.

"One piece of advice to my younger self: don't write those books," he concluded. "They were fun and helped me mentally, but people always want more of you. Whatever you give is never enough.

"You give pieces of your soul to people. You're either the type who can survive that or you struggle. I know a lot who have struggled and wish they'd never done it. I'm glad I played football. It shaped me. Would I miss it if I hadn't done it? Probably not."

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