Secret Footballer identity finally exposed as he admits Gary Speed tragedy 'stopped the fun'

For years, the so-called 'Secret Footballer' was the gossip amongst football fans, but the star behind the alias has now revealed his identify

After 15 years, five published books, a must-read newspaper column and countless social media threads devoted to unmasking him, The Secret Footballer has at last been unveiled.

During the peak of his fame, there was even a website titled, 'Who is the Secret Footballer?' which pieced together all the hints from the weekly insider reports in an attempt to discover his true identity.

His pieces would expose the "billion-dollar circus" of top-level football, with central topics including agents, dressing room dynamics and the industry's cynicism.

Many football supporters of a particular generation will probably know who he is, but former Reading, Stoke City, Sheffield United and Portsmouth forward Dave Kitson has now acknowledged it publicly.

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Speaking to the Express, he said: "I am The Secret Footballer. I've never said that out loud before. I wasn't happy with where football was going, and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health."

Kitson, currently a prominent motivational speaker, has ultimately chosen to reveal the truth and has offered insight into why his career shifted towards penning best-selling books and captivating articles, both during and after his playing days concluded. "I've been writing since I was a kid," he said.

"It's a passion. Before football, I wanted to be a travel writer. The writing was cathartic. It helped me process what was going on in football. Would I do it again, knowing what I know now? Probably not. People come up and ask me about it all the time. It's nice to unburden myself."

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Kitson, now 46, began his writing journey in 2011 and hung up his boots aged 34 in July 2014. He continued: "It started as something that wasn't about naming names. It was about explaining what happens in the industry and why.

"I would write and leave people to form their own opinions. It was fun for a whilst, then it bred huge anxiety. I had a career and a big contract. If I'd been outed, I would have been sacked and ostracised.

"Now everyone has a podcast and an outlet. Back then, it was genuinely new. It changed football in this country and led to overhauls at the highest levels, which I'm proud of. But the stress and anxiety were immense."

Kitson went on to share the devastating moment which eventually forced him to abandon the column. In November 2011, he penned an article highlighting what he termed an "epidemic" of mental health issues within football, during an era when such matters were seldom openly acknowledged.

Kitson admitted: "I wrote a column called 'Sometimes There's Darkness Behind the Light'. I said it was only a matter of time before someone in football would take their own life."

The piece went to print on a Saturday. Just one day later, former Wales manager Gary Speed was discovered dead. Kitson reflected: "That's when it stopped being fun. It gave the column credibility in the worst possible way, and it was really difficult.

"I suffered and struggled with guilt for a long time. I felt that if I'd written that column earlier, we might have prevented what happened. I struggled with that. Then I became angry at the authorities for being passive on the issue of mental health and not doing enough. I still feel anger towards them.

"Fortunately, the people who were in those positions are no longer there, and things have changed and improved. That tragedy was the most horrendous thing that could happen. I felt such sympathy for his family. It was unnecessary."

That was the day The Secret Footballer went from being a cult column to something people were treating almost like a Bible on football. "It was credibility in the worst possible way. Not long after that, I stopped."

Kitson revealed that becoming a footballer had never been his original ambition. "I wanted to be a travel writer," he explained. "I wanted to get around the world and have someone pay me to do it. Then I fell into football. The reason I fell into football was because I was playing for a non-league team and our striker broke his leg.

"I was put up front to take his place, and I managed to score these goals. I remember having a real thought, even then at a young age, that it was a real opportunity to make a mark. Fortunately for me, I was able to take advantage of it. I became a professional footballer and found myself eventually playing in the Premier League."

The Secret Footballer's literary output has captured the imagination of football fans nationwide over the years, but was it worthwhile? "One piece of advice to my younger self: 'Don't write those books.'

"They were fun and helped me mentally, but people always want more of you. Whatever you give is never enough. You give pieces of your soul to people. You're either the type who can survive that, or you struggle.

"I know a lot who have struggled and wish they'd never done it. I'm glad I played football. It shaped me. Would I miss it if I hadn't done it? Probably not."

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